Favourite Marriage Quotes, Part 2

“Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays.”
Henry Youngman

“The longest sentence you can form with two words is: I do.”
HL Mencken

“I never knew what real happiness was until I got married, and by then it was too late.”
Max Kaufman

“Bigamy is having one wife too many. Monogamy is the same.”
Oscar Wilde

“Dammit sir, it’s your duty to get married. You can’t be always living for pleasure.”
Oscar Wilde

“The only time my wife and I had a simultaneous orgasm was when the judge signed the divorce papers.”
Woody Allen

“Terrorism? I don’t give a fuck: I’ve been married 2 years.”
Sam Kinison

“Marriage is the only evil that men pray for.”
Greek Proverb

If variety is the spice of life, marriage is the big can of leftover Spam.
Johnny Carson

“In California, there’s a 6-month waiting period for filing for divorce, but only a 15-day waiting period for buying a handgun. It’s nice to know the government is giving us advice on how to work out our problems.”
Matt Sullivan

“Marriage is like a fortress under siege. Those outside are desperate to get in, and those inside are desperate to get out.”
Unknown

“The three rings of marriage are the engagement ring, the wedding ring, and the suffering.”
Unknown

“Life’s a bitch, then you marry one.”
Unknown

(This opinion belongs solely to the author and does not necessarily reflect the views of The Good Sex Network.)

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