It's in our nature

Here’s solid scientific evidence that we were NOT meant to be monogamous…

From John Ince’s “The Politics of Lust”:

Sexual non-exclusivity occurs even in cultures where it is punishable by death. Anthropologist Helen Fisher, author of Anatomy of Love, says that only 16% of cultures on record actually mandate monogamy. The vast majority of societies allow for some form of sexual variety, although usually only for men. Fisher also studied divorce in sixty-two societies, and discovered that couples have a consistent tendency to separate after just four years–long enough to raise a child past infancy. Further, studies of blood types indicate that worldwide at least ten percent of children are fathered by someone other than the man who believes he is the father.

Recent discoveries about human sperm also suggest that we are innately promiscuous. Only one per cent of the millions of sperm cells that a man ejaculates into a woman’s vagina are designed to impregnate her. The rest are “fighters” and “blockers” that nature created to prevent the sperm of other men from inseminating the woman. As Robin Baker, one of the co-discoverers of these remarkable facts, discusses in his book Sperm Wars: The Science of Sex, the message of human biology is that humans are not naturally chaste. Males need “fighter” and “blocker” sperm because their women, at times, innately favor many partners. He says: “Both sexes have been programmed to shift between fidelity and infidelity as and when their circumstances dictate.”

It’s in our nature NOT to be monogamous. Religious teachings aside, there are no good reasons to insist on a monogamous society. History has shown that polyamory/polygamy can work, and has worked quite effectively.

The only potential issue, as I see it, is one of jealousy. However, jealousy is not innate, it is learned. In an open relationship where polyamory is the norm, I don’t see jealousy normally arising. Jealously comes from personal insecurities and the fear of abandonment, and as I said, it is a learned response that can be avoided through clear communication and understanding. Here is a fairly thorough discussion of jealousy.


Monogamy Unnatural in the Natural World
Today’s Alternative Marriage Styles: The Case of Swingers


(This opinion belongs solely to the author and does not necessarily reflect the views of The Good Sex Network.)