I’m going to take a moment to defend the Church. You say the Church should not be a coercive force; they should lead by example. I agree wholeheartedly.

But you are apparently alone in your view, because the Church (esp. the Roman Catholic Church) is largely autocratic. If you are a Church follower, you will be punished for breaking from religious teachings concerning sex. I don’t necessarily mean punished in the sense of going to Hell, but also in many other ways — berated by other members of your congregation or society, ostracized from your family, developing deep-rooted feelings of shame and guilt over sex, etc.

In effect, the Church practices psychological warfare against their parishioners. Even your church does this, though in a much more subtle way than a Catholic church may do it.

The Church’s intolerant and inflexible views on sexuality are incompatible with our enlightened modern society. They’re downright archaic! I spoke of a need for a more balanced viewpoint, one that respects the rights of the individual to have a sexually and mentally healthful life, as well as the needs of society to have stability and order.

If the Church cannot, or will not, pursue this balance, they will become less relevant and less respected over time. They will lose followers. People will seek alternative forms of spirituality that are less autocratic, that have a less draconian stance.

The Church has to evolve and modernize. They’ve already lost me. How many more do they want to lose?