What makes a great lover?

O.K. So you think you’re a great lover.

Take this test:

1. Where exactly is your lover’s clitoris?

2. What is its purpose or function?

3. How far behind a man’s arousal is the average woman?

4. What usually indicates a woman is aroused and ready for penetrations?

5. How do you tell if a woman is having a real orgasm?

Answers: Continue reading “What makes a great lover?”

An Invitation to Illumination

John, a handsome, muscular fellow of 28, was sitting across from me pouring his heart out. His story was so familiar, because I have been helping men like him (and women) for the past 25 years in my medical practice focusing on sexual problems.

He has been having difficulty getting and keeping erections for the past year or two, with the problem getting gradually worse. He and his girlfriend of 3 years called it quits recently. He felt sad, angry, and hurt, especially when she said in frustration, “you can’t even get it up.” Continue reading “An Invitation to Illumination”

Case Example: Meeting Sexual Needs

Doug and Sandra are a hard-working couple in their late 30s. They met in high school and married shortly after she turned 20. Soon, two children came on the scene and they immersed themselves in the usual preoccupation of young couples, such as building a home, settling into jobs, and looking after children. Predictably, their previously exciting sexual life went down the drain. Continue reading “Case Example: Meeting Sexual Needs”

Case Example: Getting Hard

Alex, a big strapping guy with a well-trimmed beard was almost 40 when he walked into my office with a complaint of difficulty getting, and keeping, erections. He was an intelligent proud fellow who had been married, without children, and for a number of years had been divorced. On getting back to dating, he initially experienced a variety of awkward moments when he noticed that his erections were not what he was used to; that his penis was not “performing” as it should. Continue reading “Case Example: Getting Hard”

Case Example: Learning to Orgasm

Mary, a strikingly attractive young woman, entered my office. Her long, falling blond hair and form-fitting clothes, her radiant smile, and her comfortably self-confident manner all suggested an inherent sexiness. Her boyfriend was also by most standards quite handsome, tall, slim. No one would guess from Mary’s appearance that she had a major problem with sex: she has never had orgasm. Continue reading “Case Example: Learning to Orgasm”

Starting a new relationship late in life

Over the Hill asks:

Dear Dr. Sommers:

Nine months after my wife died, I invited a lady out for dinner. She was someone I had worked with for seven years and a friend of my wife, although younger than both of us. (She was 39.) I respect and like her very much, but found it difficult to get into the routine of asking someone out. Continue reading “Starting a new relationship late in life”

My wife can only have orgasms with vibrators

A man asks:

My wife can only have orgasms with vibrators. I feel very inadequate here. It is causing a very big emotional problem for me and our marriage. She is happy with the situation, and is not willing to do anything to change this. What can I do to feel better about the situation? Continue reading “My wife can only have orgasms with vibrators”

An issue with erections

C. asks:

Hello, Dr. Sommers,

I am a healthy 26-year-old in a 1-1/2 year relationship. We have sex 1-2x per week. For the last 8 months or so, I haven’t been able to get an erection unless my girlfriend performs oral sex on me. When we roll around in bed it just doesn’t do it for me. Now I think about getting hard when we are together and of course it doesn’t happen…unless she goes down on me. Continue reading “An issue with erections”