The Good Sex Network

March 15, 2009

What makes a great lover?

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O.K. So you think you’re a great lover.

Take this test:

  1. Where exactly is your lover’s clitorus?
  2. What is its purpose or function?
  3. How far behind a man’s arousal is the average woman?
  4. What usually indicates a woman is aroused and ready for penetrations?
  5. How do you tell if a woman is having a real orgasm?

Answers: Read more…

February 4, 2009

An Invitation to Illumination

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John, a handsome, muscular fellow of 28, was sitting across from me pouring his heart out. His story was so familiar, because I have been helping men like him (and women) for the past 25 years in my medical practice focusing on sexual problems.

He has been having difficulty getting and keeping erections for the past year or two, with the problem getting gradually worse. He and his girlfriend of 3 years called it quits recently. He felt sad, angry, and hurt, especially when she said in frustration, “you can’t even get it up.” Read more…

December 9, 2008

Case Example: Meeting Sexual Needs

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Doug and Sandra are a hard-working couple in their late 30s. They met in high school and married shortly after she turned 20. Soon, two children came on the scene and they immersed themselves in the usual preoccupation of young couples, such as building a home, settling into jobs, and looking after children. Predictably, their previously exciting sexual life went down the drain. Read more…

November 8, 2008

Case Example: Getting Hard

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Alex, a big strapping guy with a well-trimmed beard was almost 40 when he walked into my office with a complaint of difficulty getting, and keeping, erections. He was an intelligent proud fellow who had been married, without children, and for a number of years had been divorced. On getting back to dating, he initially experienced a variety of awkward moments when he noticed that his erections were not what he was used to; that his penis was not “performing” as it should. Read more…

October 4, 2008

Case Example: Learning to Orgasm

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Mary, a strikingly attractive young woman, entered my office. Her long, falling blond hair and form-fitting clothes, her radiant smile, and her comfortably self-confident manner all suggested an inherent sexiness. Her boyfriend was also by most standards quite handsome, tall, slim. No one would guess from Mary’s appearance that she had a major problem with sex: she has never had orgasm. Read more…

July 3, 2008

Case Example: Reigniting Passion

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Looking at Jill, the word “perky” comes to mind. When we see her open smiling face, blue eyes, blond hair, and trim body, she appears as the stereotype picture of the happy-go-lucky girl next door. Read more…

June 3, 2008

Starting a new relationship late in life

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Over the Hill asks:

Dear Dr. Sommers:

Nine months after my wife died, I invited a lady out for dinner. She was someone I had worked with for seven years and a friend of my wife, although younger than both of us. (She was 39.) I respect and like her very much, but found it difficult to get into the routine of asking someone out. Read more…

April 4, 2008

My wife can only have orgasms with vibrators

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A man asks:

My wife can only have orgasms with vibrators. I feel very inadequate here. It is causing a very big emotional problem for me and our marriage. She is happy with the situation, and is not willing to do anything to change this. What can I do to feel better about the situation? Read more…

An issue with erections

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C. asks:

Hello, Dr. Sommers,

I am a healthy 26-year-old in a 1-1/2 year relationship. We have sex 1-2x per week. For the last 8 months or so, I haven’t been able to get an erection unless my girlfriend performs oral sex on me. When we roll around in bed it just doesn’t do it for me. Now I think about getting hard when we are together and of course it doesn’t happen…unless she goes down on me. Read more…

An issue with retarded ejaculation

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D.M. asks:

I am 51 years old and have suffered from retarded ejaculation since I was in my 20’s. I have been married for 15 years and until last spring the marriage was sexless because of my problem. Read more…

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