Seth Rogen, who has played in some of my favourite films such as The 40-Year-Old Virgin and Knocked Up, is Zack, a loser who works in a coffee shop. Gorgeous Elizabeth Banks, who plays Miri, also a financially challenged loser, shares an apartment with Zack. When their electricity, water and heat are cut off because of non-payment of bills, they desperately look for a financial solution.

Zack has to borrow money from a friend and a video camera from another friend. He rents a hole in a wall as a film studio. He convinces some amateurs to perform in the video, including Bubbles (played by Traci Lords) and Stacey (played by Katie Morgan). Lester (Jason Mewes from Clerks) is another amateur who has the exceptional ability to get an instant erection on demand.

Zack and Miri also agree to perform in sex scenes.

But when the studio is inadvertently torn down and they lose all their equipment and investment, it seems that their dream has been shattered. Eventually, Zack comes up with the idea of secretly filming the porno in the coffee shop where he works, using the store’s security camera.

The project is jeopardized when Zack and Miri begin to develop romantic feelings for each other, and neither one of them wants the other to perform in the porno.

The direction is somewhat uneven but overall I found the story sweet and engaging. It’s not as good as The 40-Year-Old Virgin or Knocked Up, but I will give it a good recommendation anyway because the film is so unique.

How is it unique? Well, the movie is very open about pornography and thus is extremely sex-positive, a rarity in today’s world. Porn is not viewed as a big deal with moral difficulties. It is simply a fact of life, and something that most people can enjoy.

To add to the authenticity of the porno production, the appearance of Traci Lords, a former porn star, and Katie Morgan, one of the hottest porn stars today, is welcome.

- RKE

(This opinion belongs solely to the author and does not necessarily reflect the views of The Good Sex Network.)

Adventures of a Hockey MILF

The faux Sarah is Lisa Ann, who will be nailing the Russians who come knocking on her back-door. In another scene - a flashback - young Paylin’s creationist college professor will explain a ‘big bang’ theory even she can’t deny!

Drill Baby Drill!

Grand Ole Pussy Party!

Making Ends Meat!

Backdoor Politics!

(This opinion belongs solely to the author and does not necessarily reflect the views of The Good Sex Network.)

As soon as he used the word “perform,” I kind of jumped on him and told him in clear terms that that word was not allowed to be used in my office. I said “sex is not a performance.” “Sex is a form of adult play and a potentially profound form of communication.” As he continued to tell me his story, it became clear that Alex’s whole social life became significantly constricted as a result of his fear of failure in bed.

Like many men I see with such problems, Alex was handsome, well-toned, intelligent, and had a good steady job and source of income. Also, he felt really keen to have a relationship and relieve some of what he felt were the burdens of single life, like loneliness, at times. Similar to many people who experienced a good marriage, even in part, or a good relationship, they crave and want to recreate that aspect of the previous experience.

Also, as with many patients, Alex’s main problem was not that he could not attract women who might be interested in going out with him. He was quite acceptably handsome and clearly would appeal to some members of the opposite sex. Unfortunately, the fear of having to go to the bedroom at some point in the relationship, and potentially suffering a “failure experience,” so inhibited Alex from even attempting to meet women that his whole social life became very severely restricted.

Eventually, Alex attempted to get help by going to a highly advertised clinic where his penis was injected and a firm erection thereby produced. However, he was reluctant to follow their advice and precede every act of potential intercourse with putting a needle into his penis. In exploring alternatives, he also tried Viagra and this too worked with some effect in him but not consistently, and he reported that he had some headaches as well, and he found timing a problem, having to take the pill about an hour before intended sexual contact.

Alex was very relieved when we discussed our approach to treating his sexual problem without any medications whatsoever. Rather, relying on a cognitive/behavioural treatment, which entailed reprogramming the autonomic part of his central nervous system, would then enable his blood vessels to be relaxed and open wide, thus allowing blood to flow to the penis freely and produce an erection whenever he would want.

Indeed, following this 8 to 10 session program, supplemented with readings and homeplay assignments, and looking at carefully selected sex education films and videos, Alex made marvelous progress, like most of my patients.

In one of our last sessions, he related how recently he met on a street near his home a lovely tall blond “with legs up to here,” whom he asked for a coffee after a brief chat. That led to dinner in a nice restaurant and some very exploratory discussion about what each of them had in mind for the future. It turned out that she had also been married once before, and was ready and keen on a serious long-term relationship with children, as was Alex. They both agreed to go slow and to explore each other’s values, goals, and ability to communicate in a meaningful soul-to-soul level. There is every indication now that this relationship will meet Alex’s expectations and even exceed them, and that his long period of solitary life and fear of sexual failure will come to a happy end.

It is stories like Alex’s, repeated many times, in my practice that makes my work so meaningful and rewarding. It is most important that men in a similar position as Alex recognize that these days there are a variety of approaches to help with all kinds of sexual problems, dealing with erections as well as with ejaculation control problems and desire issues as well. It’s most important that people take responsibility when they do have a problem, and seek out appropriate help with a well-qualified doctor or therapist with whom they feel comfortable. If something seems not be working out, do not hesitate to explore alternatives. Do it sooner rather than later, as this makes the treatment program easier. Among resources available to you besides, of course, the Yellow Pages would be preferably referrals from your family doctor and/or a phone call to your local hospital and/or medical society.

- Dr. Frank Sommers

- The Pursuit of Happiness, by David G. Myers
 

Dear God, what have I been missing?! Perhaps the sense of joy that comes, as Garrison Keillor suggests, through more ordinary, ongoing moments of cheer — through identifying with children as they ride their adolescent roller coasters, through laughter and tears shared with friends, through work created and completed, through daily games of pickup basketball with friends, through happy recollections of Chinese tearooms, of family beach fires, of falling in love.

Realizing that well-being is something other than being well-off is liberating. It liberates us from spending tons of money on fancy SUVs and waterfront beach homes — all purchased in a vain quest for an elusive joy. It liberates us from envying the lifestyles of the rich and famous. It liberates us to invest ourselves in developing traits, attitudes, relationships, activities, environments, and spiritual resources that will promote our own, and others’, well-being.

(This opinion belongs solely to the author and does not necessarily reflect the views of The Good Sex Network.)

(This opinion belongs solely to the author and does not necessarily reflect the views of The Good Sex Network.)

Even though Hank dearly wants Karen back, he still manages to sleep with many other women. It adds much drama and complication to Hank’s life, both personally and professionally.

For me, the best part of the series is Hank’s relationship with his daughter. It is very sweet and warm, and it reveals his most vulnerable and honest side.

Hank’s relationship with his friend and manager, Charlie Runkle (played by Evan Handler), is also very amusing. Charlie is quite the character.

The show is sexually frank and honest, and in its own unique fashion, is very sex positive. I am quite addicted to the program.

Highly recommended.

- RKE

(This opinion belongs solely to the author and does not necessarily reflect the views of The Good Sex Network.)

The first one is the economic and marketing machine that has evolved over the past several decades to ENSLAVE people around the world! This may sound like an overstatement, but I assure you that it is not.

The key aims of this economic and marketing machine are to: 1) brainwash people into CONSUMING ever more goods and services so that global economic growth continues unabated, and 2) encourage people into using more and more CREDIT so that they get into DEBT and spend the rest of their lives servicing this debt (this is the enslavement aspect of it).

The first aim is accomplished through the use of media (for example, film and television) to inject wants and desires into our collective psyche. To aid in this goal, the machine employs sexual imagery (after all, sex sells!) and the glamorization of wealth and power. Our lust for lotteries is a natural offshoot of this phenomenon. Our obsessive pursuit of wealth is the fallout.

The second aim is merely an extension of the historical practice of indentured servitude. In olden days, if you were in debt and couldn’t pay it off, you had to work it off. Today, the machine strings you along indefinitely with high interest rates and continuing credit use (see aim #1) that force you to work and work and work, just to discharge the interest payments on your debt principal. The machine does NOT want you to catch up and discharge the debt fully. Thus, they have you in their grip forever, milking you incessantly, sucking the lifeblood out of you!

All of this is to say that the machine undermines our ability to achieve true well-being.

The second reason is URBANIZATION. With more and more people migrating to large urban centres, the subsequent loss of “community values” serves to isolate us and take away our spiritual base. People living in big cities just DON’T CARE about their neighbours. There is no sense of community. Households look inward for their emotional sustenance.

So again, we are deprived of the foundation for finding real happiness in our lives.

But even if we were not DISTRACTED and DIVERTED from our search for genuine happiness by economic enslavement and urbanization, the question remains: What is it that we seek to fulfil in order to be happy?

Ultimately, I believe, it is to relieve the empty void that we feel within ourselves. So it really boils down to the age-old and ageless question of spirituality…

Which, of course, has no final answer.

(This opinion belongs solely to the author and does not necessarily reflect the views of The Good Sex Network.)

Yet, being sexy was very much part of Mary’s makeup. She had learned how to project an image of being a sexually highly desirable woman and, indeed, her sexual history revealed that she has had numerous boyfriends. Men on the street turned their heads with Mary approaching and she had no difficulty having the pick of the ‘crop’, so to speak.

Many relationships for Mary in the past ended in frustration when the excitement of the new started to fade. Moreover, Mary found that most men she attracted were very much turned on to her physically and imagined her to be a highly responsive, sexually keen partner.

Initially in each relationship, Mary would play the role that she thought was expected of her. She developed a technique to indicate to her partners high excitement which she really did not feel inside. Consequently, much of her intimate lovemaking was a sham. What prompted Mary to come to see me was the total frustration she had come to feel in her life with her current boyfriend, John. She wanted to avoid falling into the same pattern with this relationship, and she resolved to try to remedy her problem. This was a major step for her since John indicated that he was willing to stand by her no matter what.

It’s worth noting that Mary learned to convey or project an extra sense of sensual aliveness and sexual interest, perhaps as a compensation for her deeply felt inadequacy in delivering the goods, so to speak. In subsequent therapy, Mary confided that most men she found not to be too aware of the fact that she was “faking” her sexual interest and response. Her experience of sex was that most guys were primarily motivated to get it on and have intercourse as quickly as possible with the goal of orgasm in mind. Mary’s needs were much more in the realm of affectionate holding, kissing, touching and the feeling of being desired for her own person. Not for the ’sexy babe’ persona she projected.

There appears to be many Marys out there in the large world who are caught in a bind. They feel they need to project a certain sexy image in order to attract men. At the same time they know they are playing a risky game, because not infrequently, the men they have attracted will be responding to ‘false advertising’. In this game, unfortunately, there are no winners. Sooner or later Mary and the boyfriend will come to a point of frustration, a plateau, where the relationship gets stuck. They are at an impasse. More often than not, the couple will then break up and, sadder but no wiser, will repeat the same cycle in the next relationship.

The good news is that situations like this need not go on and on. Women like Mary and their boyfriends need to learn that this is not such an uncommon problem. Indeed, I think many, many women have great difficulties in coming to climax from intercourse. The answer, which is encouraging, is that most of these problems can be solved rather promptly, through qualified professional assistance. It can be very helpful if women like Mary seek treatment either while single, or with a partner who cares and promises to be supportive.

During treatment, these couples learn that women’s main sexual organ, even more than men, is the brain. It appears that there is a period of heightened sensitivity for the induction of the orgasmic reflex. If this ‘window of opportunity’ is missed, then it may be a harbinger of difficulties to come in developing the ability to orgasm. It’s possible that young, post-pubertal women’s brains and nervous systems need to be exercised with this ‘orgasm reflex’ in order for those connections to be made and to be able to peak more easily. This is only part of the story. We know from experience that women’s arousal is considerably slower than that of men, and unfortunately, because most men’s sexual interest is highly goal-oriented towards the attainment of orgasmic release, many women often find themselves in the frustrating situation of being behind their male partner in arousal intensity.

In my work with such clients, I try to remedy this problem first of all by having the couple become aware, and acquire a different knowledge base about how men and women truly function sexually. Then through a series of graduated exercises, guided readings and videos, I help these patients to reprogram their nervous system, as it were, in order to enable them to function in a more fulfilling way, first of all in solo sexual activity, and then in partner sex. Now there are many happy Marys out there, but guys, let’s learn.

- Dr. Frank Sommers

Our family of origin will determine such things, for example, as how comfortable we would be with nudity, and with showing our bodies to others, without shame or guilt. If you’re fortunate to have been born in a family where your parents have become comfortable with their own sexual nature and feel “at home” in their bodies, then usually through the process of osmosis the child will pick up the same basic attitudes towards his or her developing physical self.

This approach of being open within the family with nudity is one that appears to lay the foundations of an easier adjustment later in life to the changing body that the adolescent often experiences with a sense of shock or even dismay.

In extreme situations, a young person who has difficulties accepting his or her changing into a sexually mature person may suffer from an eating disorder, at times even anorexia, a recognized illness that tragically at times results in death.

I usually tell my patients, many of whom grew up in less than ideal circumstances, that there is one generation that needs to make a breakthrough in becoming comfortable with their sexuality. Their children and then subsequent generations coming after them will “naturally” inherit these healthier attitudes.

Basically we can think of people coming from three kinds of homes. The first could be the outright sex negative home which is characterized by a parent or parents making negative comments to their child along the lines: don’t touch down there, that’s dirty, you can go crazy or blind, etc. The sexually neutral home would be one where parents carefully, and studiously, avoid any discussion or reference dealing with sex in the family home. This may also extend to, for example, switching television channels when during family viewing, something comes up that is suggestive of, or involving, nudity and sex. The smallest group, yet most desirable, would be the sex positive home. Here, parents have become comfortable with their sexuality and their bodies, and they convey this in an age appropriate manner to their children. Here, children learn a healthy respect for their bodies, and for privacy, as at the same time, they learn about normal bodily functions and a sense of comfort with their nakedness in front of family members. These children learn to name sexual body parts appropriately and thus are able to talk about any concerns that might arise with parents whom they know are receptive and caring.

Research shows that children who receive positive sex education seem to have a less turbulent time in adolescence, and contrary to some people’s expectation, they are less likely to get into trouble with their sexual behaviour.

Moreover, and very importantly, I think, children who grow up in sex positive homes usually establish a stronger bond with their parents which enables them to communicate about many other issues of concern they encounter during the growing-up years, even unrelated to sexual matters.

It has been shown that infants who do not receive affection, which involves caressing, hugging, and kissing from their care taking adults, can at times fail to develop properly. Thus, once again, it is the parents’ responsibility to become comfortable with showing their care and affection for their children in a physical way that is age appropriate. In general, one can say that hugging and kissing should be the norm in every family, not the exception.

With time, children who grow up with these essential ingredients of development will become sexually mature, integrated adults who feel comfortable ‘in their skin’, and who have integrated their sexuality into a more fulfilling daily existence, better able to share their love on a physical and emotional level with a well-chosen life partner.

- Dr. Frank Sommers

http://loveandhealth.ifriends.net/Article.cfm?Topic=4&SubTopic=33&Article=392

The 5 key lessons are:

1. Porn Can Help Men Expand and Diversify Their Perceptions about Female Desirability.

2. Porn Teaches How to Fantasize.

3. Porn Demonstrates That Taboos Can and Should Be Broken.

4. Porn Motivates Real Sex Education.

5. Porn Celebrates Erotic Pleasure.

Highly recommended. This is one of the best videos I’ve seen.

(This opinion belongs solely to the author and does not necessarily reflect the views of The Good Sex Network.)